40-Year Renewal Of Vows …

Three guys and a plan.

Each of us was near 40 years of marriage.  Would there be any possible way we could surprise our wives with a ceremony to renew our wedding vows?  It was just a thought at the time back in 2009.

“Well, to begin with, we still have a couple of years to get to 40, and I’m not sure we’ll make it,” said one of the guys. “She made me pretty mad the other day.”

The other’s initial reaction: “And, I’m thinking about trading in mine for a newer model.  I understand there are some good deals out there.”

It should be noted that those remarks were made at a guys-only gathering.

But the seed was planted for a surprise renewal of our vows once all of us passed 40 years of marriage.  The seed germinated for a couple years until 2011 when it started to sprout.

Maybe a trip to Hilton Head and somehow surprise them there?  The “somehow” was the challenge.  I doubt there was anything done the past 40 years by any of these guys that was not signed, sealed and delivered, in advance, by the three wives.  So, to surprise all three?  We decided to give it a try.

My thoughts kept returning to a beautiful little chapel (pictured above) on the banks of the Red River in Palmetto Bluff, a quaint community in Bluffton, S.C.  Palmetto Bluff is a picture-perfect setting not far off Hilton Head Island.  The chapel is the site of weddings, receptions, etc.  Just across the street is Buffalo’s, a restaurant the girls would like.  Maybe lunch and then walk over to visit the chapel?  The puzzle was starting to take shape, but a big piece was missing.  We needed a pastor to administer the vows.

Rev. Martin Lifer was the senior pastor at Providence Presbyterian in Hilton Head.  Even his name had the right ring to it for the occasion.  It was an unusual request: three couples, friends since high school, each married 40-plus years, wanting to renew their wedding vows, a surprise service for the wives, probably in the chapel at Palmetto Bluff.  After noting the rarity of three couples married for 40 years or more – to the same person no less – Rev. Lifer didn’t flinch.  Just tell him when and where and it would be his honor.

This plan was coming together, but there was little confidence that we could keep the scheme from the girls.  October 6 was set as the date.  Rev. Lifer was the  minister.  The chapel was the place.  Two months to go.

The manager at Buffalo’s Restaurant – not to be confused with a chicken wings place – thought our idea was awesome.  Her only question was one of disbelief, “Forty years . . . three couples . . . forty years each?”  She would arrange seating for six and be sure one of the guys was facing a window in order to see Rev. Lifer arrive and enter the chapel.  That would be the cue.

October 6, 2011 arrived.  After getting to Hilton Head the day before, the couples enjoyed a normal coffee-and-breakfast morning at Harbour Town.  The plan was in place.  Then, a kink.  The girls announced they would rather go shopping and save Palmetto Bluff for another day.  Blank, panicked stares of fright from the guys.  “You can do that if you’d like,” I stumbled. “I’ll see if we can get reservations at Buffalo’s another day.”  The other two guys swallowed their tongues.   Normally, Buffalo’s doesn’t even take reservations.

The girls decided on their own to stick with the plan to visit Palmetto Bluff as scheduled.  They knew only that we had lunch at Buffalo’s at 1 p.m.  Still knew nothing about a 2 p.m. appointment in the chapel.

The entire Buffalo’s staff must have been in on our plan.  Never have ordinary customers been treated more royally.  “Ladies, we have you seated here, and, gents, you may take your seats,” the hostess said, a wink in my direction.  The curtain had been positioned so the view of the chapel entrance was clear and direct from my chair.  “What a pretty little chapel,” said one of the guys, right on script.  “Maybe we can check it out after lunch.”  The girls thought that was a wonderful idea, thank goodness.

Lunch took less than an hour; the staff at Buffalo’s saw to that.  At 1:45, I noticed Rev. Lifer enter the chapel.  We were getting close.  The girls powdered their noses after lunch and came outside.  They wanted to see the chapel.  So we walked in that direction and up the steps.

Rev. Lifer was waiting inside, down the aisle at the front of the chapel, Bible and notes in hand. “Welcome,” he called out, addressing the girls by name.  “Come on down.  We are here today to celebrate 40 years of marriage – and to renew your vows to each other.”  Stunned to tears, the girls were caught completely off guard.  For the first time in 40 years, all three were speechless.  Each couple renewed vows individually and reverently with Rev. Lifer followed by hugs, tears and cheers (by the guys).  The girls were totally surprised, and the guys totally relieved.

So, the good Lord willing, the three couples will hit their magical 50-year anniversaries soon.  Three guys and . . . another plan?

“I’m not sure we will make it to fifty,” said one. “She made me mad the other day.”

“I’m thinking about trading mine in for a newer model,” said the other.

Well, I know of a pretty chapel on the Red River.